She stared at it for a little longer. The moonlight had made its red out of rust skin shine. The view of it from her balcony was just so vivid. It had been there for years now. She remembered her dad placing it when they first moved into the house around twenty years ago. It stood like a testimony of time. Once filled with pretty envelopes overflowing with love and wishes from everyone she knew, from birthday wishes to funeral invitation. It hardly bore letters now. Someone told her the old postman is now too sick to ride the cycle, a new young boy had taken up his place and ever hardly stopped by it. The last time she saw an envelope there, was almost five years ago. It sheltered a wedding card. His wedding card. The most beautiful card she had ever seen. Just the way she had imagined hers to be. Just the way he had told her he wanted his to be. One wedding card from Iceland and the letter box was never the same. It stayed there stuck to its ground rusted, old and frail like the forgotten lover. The lover who smelt him even today, years later in all his letters. The letters which once had spoken of everything beautiful under the sun. The letters that now stay crumbled under the bed. A little torn on the edges from everyday reading. She stood there watching it rain on the red letter box. A few drops kissed her crown skin. A little boy ran barefoot in the alley chasing a pretty girl, their laughter echoing in her ears. She ran back into the room gasping for breath. The old bed sheets looked abandoned. She scratched down her nails on the walls stained with charcoal. The paintings were hardly visible, all smudged with time. From the window on the side she looked outside to see the mirror. The Letter Box which no more brought his letters, the letter box which stood rusted like the forgotten lover.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The maiden who sold smiles.
Clinging on to the memory walking down the streets,
She looked around for a soul.
The night that stared into her making holes of regret.
A friend she had, a friend she loved,
Putting a price to her smiles.
She sold a few, she sold a many,
Till she had her basket barren
She borrowed a few from the friend she loved.
She used them well and sold them too.
She roamed the streets and the markets,
She looked for them in forests and lost dreams,
She pulled apart cupboards and ripped open old letters,
Burnt a few pictures and set up the wrold on fire,
The fumes still had no smile to give...
The friend came back looking for his smiles...
She sat with the barren basket, devoid and barren.
She gave away the one she wore on her face,
A friend she lost,t he friend she loved.
That night it rained, rained so hard...
It rained on a soul that died without a smile on her face.
The dilapidated soul
A few withered leaves rushed down the lane
The severe quiteness of the dark night whispered her tales she had never heard
Every strong gush of wind brought her a gift
A gift she dare not open
Nostalgia she had buried under the ruins of reality
She looked through the storm that was yet to come
The delapidated soul that cried for the rains
The clouds ensured they wouldnt break tonight
The soul cried harder, the clouds stronger.
And she saw a little boy walk down the street
Amazed and scared at the sight
She sprinted to save him from the storm
Chaos in her mind that never siezed
At the touch of the boy,
The winds whispered her something she had heard before
The lightning showed her sights she hadnt seen for long..
The delapidated soul dug out memoirs from the relam of reality..
Tales of childhood she wanted the night to know..
The clouds didnt break still, She did. And their was rain on her soul...
There was rain on her delapidated soul.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
...That Girl i knew...
She had rough clothes on, mostly white and weird nail colours, yet she had the town talking...She had love at her footsteps...and men wearing their hearts in their sleeves just to give it away...she picked none...she chose none..she just smiled...and it killed them again...over and over again...
I remember when i was 12 and i used to see her with the men...with her friends and sometimes with her tall father who never smiled and frowned at every man who looked at her...and how i always wanted to bejust the way she was...and then suddenly one fine day i heard she finished school and they sent her away to a foreign land....land where the rich live...land where the air is clean and the roads are dirt-less...
I grew up in the mean while...and i went off to a different city keeping in mind how i wanted to be like her..and i did...i had their head turnings too..but somewhere i lost it out...just wasnt the way she was...
When i used to come back home i used to hear them speak of her...but never did i see her.. until then..until seven years later...i saw her again...just at the same place where i used to see her laughing off her world around...
But she looked different, so different that i almost missed her...Her hair was still black but they had lost the shine..or maybe the thickness...her eyes still sparkled.....but with water...her face no more gave out rays...her clothes were rich i could see...She rode a car that had the town talking again...and i asked them what happened to her...
They say she lives alone...they dont see her smile anymore...neither does she talk much...she is just there..and not..She goes around looking for love...and she finds them here and there...just not what she looks for...she has her kohl smeared around her eyes...they wonder if she lives on cannabis...and her car smells of bad smoke and spirits...She works big and earns bigger...yet she lives still with her parents...She walked around like she so no one, heard no one, felt no one...I never saw her white..all she wore was grey and more grey...And then i saw her again in front of the Ice cream shop that evening...with the same best friend she had years ago......somehow she saw me from the corner of the eye..she looked up and smiled at me, the saddest smile i could ever think of...and i wondered if she had ever seen me before...
I wondered what happened...what could have happened...what made the girl who could once clad in love...now searches around for it...what is it that makes her cry so much...her face looked paler..and her body frail and fragile...She looked for love...she looked for love...
Why did she look for love...Love...What did she look for in love ??
Oh no....wait...What is love ?
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